My heart is full........

 ......full of so much love for this little smiley guy..........

 .....and full of love for all three of these sweet little boys.

I love Case's expression here, he's like "mom what are you letting my brothers do to me" (in reality they were just giving him "morning kisses" as Colt says).

There are no words to explain what it means to be a mommy to these three boys. With the birth of each of my boys my heart has been filled with so much joy and thankfulness for these wonderful gifts that God has given me. 

They teach me so much about patience, forgiveness and living every day to the fullest.

 Even in the midst of the unknowns about their future, their health and what life will be like tomorrow, one month, one year or twenty years from now I know that the love I have for them will never change.

There is nothing like having another baby in the house to remind you of the pure innocence of children. All babies need are snuggles, kisses, love and more kisses. It's really quite simple, as they get older the demands of what they need grows and grows, it gets complicated and you often wonder if you are doing it right. I question myself daily, but seeing Case is a reminder that all my boys really need is love. If I give them love, show them love and let them know they are loved then I'm really doing okay.

I am in a women's bible study at my church this summer that focuses on the life of David. In discussion we often talk about motherhood and raising kids. A friend of mine, someone whom I respect deeply posted an article on facebook called "Motherhood is a Calling". The entire article was wonderful but there was one excerpt that really spoke to me.

It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.

Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.

Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.

The truth is that even though you may think my life is great, or you know someone who's life seems perfect it's not. We are all struggling with the same thing, all of our kids cry, throw fits, stay up all night, we all fight with our husbands or have bad days. I may only post about the great things here on my blog but don't be fooled my life is probably not much different than yours. The secret to my complete happiness is not really a secret; it's my faith, faith in God that no matter what goes wrong, what challenges I may face, He will be there. I have no doubts about that.