Colt 2 days old.
Colt (almost) 4 months old. Colt will be 4 months old on Thursday, time really has flown by! He is growing and changing so much and it is so fun to watch him. He is really starting to smile ALOT now, he has figured out the social smile and will smile at anyone who smiles at him first. Its fun to take him out and about and watch him interact with other people. His grin is so funny, he is starting to do this new thing with his tongue where he sticks it from side to side when he smiles. He has started to really talk and babble and on occasion he will laugh. Dave loves his laugh, he thinks it is the funniest thing! He is reminding me more of myself the older he gets though I am sure his dad would not agree:) He has rolled over but not consistently and he is getting better at sitting up but still needs some support. He has really started to become interested in toys and has started to grab at them, its funny to watch his motor skills develop.
Going back to work last week was so hard, I think I cried most the day on Monday. The week got better as it went along but that guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach never does go away. The good thing is that I do enjoy my job, I have good classes that I am teaching this year and my kids seem really great. The problem is that I don't want to spend the day with 150 kids I want to spend the day with just one kid and that is Colt. I know a lot of women do it so I am sure I will eventually start to adjust but in the mean time its hard.
Colt was crying tonight when he was trying to go to sleep, most the time I just let him cry and he usually falls asleep after a couple minutes.....tonight I went into his room, picked him up and rocked and sang to him as he fell asleep. He loves it when I tickle his face as he falls to sleep and right before he drifted off he opened his eyes and gave me a big smile then snuggled back into my arms and fell asleep. It may sound stupid but I started crying, he is so special to me and I am so grateful and blessed to have him in my life. My life has been changed by this little person who a year ago was just a tiny bean inside my belly and today is a wonderful and happy little boy.
5 comments:
Okay, so your post is so sweet. I teared up reading it. I am not looking forward to leaving our little guy with anyone. He is not even here yet! I totally have the "mamma bear" coming out already. Like baby Wyatt will NEED me and only me and no one else can do it as well as me. And...I don't want anyone to tell me any differently! Geez! You are such a good mom, Care and I hope you know it! I have heard the social skills are so great with any type of babysitting situation. Not to mention when you and Dave try to leave Colt with anyone in the future, he won't cry as much because he'll know you're coming back. Keep it up and I don't know but I am sure it will get easier. Love you tons!
I completely understand what you have written here. I started crying just reading it. I does get a little better as time goes on. What makes it all worth it is when you go to pick Colt up and he sees you and gets so excited then started grunting and cooing telling you all about his little day. Madilyn does that and i makes me feel good that she knows who mamma is and all she wanted to do was tell ME about her day. Moments like that warm you heart. And time away from each other makes the time you spend together just that much more precious. He knows who Mommy is, he loves you. I promise you that.
I think that everyone started crying when they read this post. I know that I for sure did also. I can't imagine leaving Mae and I dont even have her out yet to play with and take care of yet. And I for sure have those mama bear feelings already. But I think that you are so strong to be able to go back to work basically full time its amazing. Well Care I love ya and I know that your the best mom!!
I just wanted to tell you that I just went through and re-read all your end of pregnancy posts to make myself feel better cause like you I also have not had any progress @ 40 weeks so I have an induction scheduled for next monday. So pray that she decides to come on her own between now and then.
You and Colt are so precious! Nothing changes you more than being a mother, and I agree it the best gift ever. That's why we are having another :) Leaving Crew the 2nd school in a row is easier but never fun. I leave school the second I can just to get there so I can take him home to have all to my self.
If you ever just want to talk you can call me, don't feel guilty complaining to me knowing that I have to leave Crew everyday too. We can go through this together. We all go though tough times, all the vball tournaments in the world, but leaving our kid and working full time has to be the toughest.
You are an amazing mom and person and don't ever feel like you are shorting Colt on anything, he is going to turn out great. Crew loves daycare now and runs away from us when we drop him off, the socializing and playing with other kids is so wonderful.
Anyway I am blabbing, you are doing the right thing. You are awesome, and Colt is adorabale. You need to post on kodak so I can order some prints.
Love ya
Julie
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